"Not real. Having a nervous breakdown. And that's fine. It'll be completely fine." Anders felt like he weighed an extra thirty pounds, which wasn't far wrong with how much pond water his clothes had absorbed. He shivered as he approached the looming archway slowly, eyes wide.
The stone felt so real, the grit of mortar flaking under his fingernail, and he trailed his hand along it as he climbed a set of stairs up onto what were... walls. Battlements? The crenelations were the... castle-shaped things at the top?
He'd been playing fantasy games for years and he had no bloody idea.
It was colder as the wind whistled over him, and he huddled, arms going around himself. "Maker save me, I'm going to freeze to death in a hallucination." He kept walking, trying to chafe warmth back into his skin.
The tingling was uncomfortable, like pins and needles, but hot, and trying to get out, which wasn't exactly how he'd ever heard hypothermia described before, so that was a relief. He had to stop and lean against the wall as a violent shudder overtook him.
All of a sudden he was hot, far too hot and he held his hands away from his face, watching his clothes send curls of steam into the air. "Well, fantastic. My fucking fingers are on fire." He just stared in fascination at the licks of yellow-orange flames that limned his hands.
The stone felt so real, the grit of mortar flaking under his fingernail, and he trailed his hand along it as he climbed a set of stairs up onto what were... walls. Battlements? The crenelations were the... castle-shaped things at the top?
He'd been playing fantasy games for years and he had no bloody idea.
It was colder as the wind whistled over him, and he huddled, arms going around himself. "Maker save me, I'm going to freeze to death in a hallucination." He kept walking, trying to chafe warmth back into his skin.
The tingling was uncomfortable, like pins and needles, but hot, and trying to get out, which wasn't exactly how he'd ever heard hypothermia described before, so that was a relief. He had to stop and lean against the wall as a violent shudder overtook him.
All of a sudden he was hot, far too hot and he held his hands away from his face, watching his clothes send curls of steam into the air. "Well, fantastic. My fucking fingers are on fire." He just stared in fascination at the licks of yellow-orange flames that limned his hands.
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Date: 2015-09-13 03:54 am (UTC)From:He turned and emptied the front pocket of the sweatshirt that he'd stuffed his shirt and vest into onto the table near the door, frowning faintly at the leather-bound journal that was mixed in. Where..? Well it didn't matter. If it was Logan's he wasn't going to go thumbing through it and there were more important things happening.
He had to crouch to untie and then work off his shoes, which had gone tight and squeaky with the soaking. He peeled off his socks and laid them out to dry as well. The cardigan he draped over the back of the ladder back chair, hopefully it would finish drying without turning too funky. He hoped.
The trousers came next, shaken out and draped over the seat of the chair, and then he was standing there in his not-the-worst-thank-all-the-gods boxer briefs and Logan's sweatshirt, smiling lopsidedly over at the him. "That is already so much better, you have no idea."
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Date: 2015-09-13 04:02 am (UTC)From:"Believe me, love, I have some idea," he smirked. Anders' legs were, if possible, longer and more fantastic than his damp trousers had led Logan to believe.
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Date: 2015-09-13 04:08 am (UTC)From:He was too tall to have ever felt small before, but as he moved closer to Logan, his bulk made him seem slight by comparison. Slight, or gangly. The latter was probably a better descriptor. He was rapidly becoming hard in his shorts and was glad, feverishly, that the sweatshirt was long enough to cover his erection.
He ran a hand over Logan's stomach, trailing fingers along the edge of his waistband, and clicked a nail against the top button on his jeans. "Can I?" he asked softly, reverently.
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Date: 2015-09-13 04:26 am (UTC)From:He shivered when Anders touched him, not from cold, but from Anders', and tilted his head to watch Anders' face as his hand moved. It was interesting, he thought, the things his stomach - his body - was doing just from Anders looking at him. Barely touching him. Logan knew he was attractive; at least, his body was, and he worked hard to keep it that way as much from practicality as anything. It was easier to get the kinds of jobs he took on the side - shifting cargo down at the docks, working the orchards during harvest seasons and the Christmas tree farms during the holidays, janitorial work - if he looked like an extremely able-bodied man. But it was a rare thing to be admired just as himself, not as a worker or an attractive person on the streets.
He resisted the urge to preen a bit and nodded. "Yeah, of course."
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Date: 2015-09-13 04:36 am (UTC)From:He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Logan's collarbone, a tiny flick of his tongue tasting his skin, and then crouched down on one knee to help him step out of his jeans. He rested his forehead against his bare thigh as he did so, trying not to pant, or stare, or do anything else creepy or too desperate seeming.
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Date: 2015-09-13 04:53 am (UTC)From:And he would have sworn he was about to say something about how ridiculous this statement was, because had Anders ever looked in a mirror, but what came out was, "Logan. You- you should really start calling me Logan, love." His fingers continued to pet through Anders' hair.
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Date: 2015-09-13 05:05 am (UTC)From:He flinched at Logan's correction though and sighed, glancing up at him with a wince. "Sorry. I haven't been doing it all night have I?" He scanned his face, worried. He'd forced himself for months on voice chat to call him Hawke, just like everyone else, because Logan was personal, intimate.
He stretched his neck and kissed Logan's stomach, just above his hipbone, lips brushing bare skin in an apologetic caress.
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Date: 2015-09-13 05:24 am (UTC)From:"I - oh - like it when you call me Logan, though," he murmured, a little distracted by Anders' lips above his hipbone, his breath warm against his skin. And then he was all too suddenly aware of the fact that he was standing there in an old pair of grey boxers and his socks, which was rather too little fabric to disguise exactly how interested he was in Anders' mouth being so close to his cock. And Anders' was not only still far too clothed, but on the floor, which seemed...really far away, actually, even if it was - well, ideal for some things which Logan found abruptly that he did not want, not at the moment.
He sank down to his knees in front of him and moved his hand to cup the back of Anders' head, pulled him in again to kiss him, tried to convey at least a little bit of his confusing maelstrom of want and lust and-but-really-actually want that went way beyond lust in the slow, insistent press of his lips and his tongue.
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Date: 2015-09-13 05:36 am (UTC)From:He leaned heavily against him, knees to chest pressed tight, the bunch of the sweatshirt bottom keeping his cock from rubbing directly against Logan's. Annoying but also kind of helpful if he didn't want to rut into him like an animal and embarrass himself.
Besides, there were so many things to say, and feel, and this wasn't some meaningless one-night-stand. This was real, and it was right, and it had been a long, long time since Anders had had anyone in his arms that meant anything other than right now.
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Date: 2015-09-13 05:54 am (UTC)From:He turned his head, their noses brushing, and he didn't break the kiss until the shallow breaths through his nose that he was taking simply weren't enough. He leaned his head back, but barely, to gasp for air.
"Anders," he sighed. Just that, because he didn't actually have anything to say that would come remotely close to the warm, perfect, terrifying happiness he was feeling.
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Date: 2015-09-13 06:05 am (UTC)From:"Logan." His voice held a lilt, almost playful, definitely inviting. "We walked an awful long way to find a bed only to wind up back on a floor."
He turned his head, to glance at the bed. "It looks like a terrible, lumpy, probably straw mattress, but at least it would have blankets."
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Date: 2015-09-13 06:19 am (UTC)From:"Still, you know what we could do about that..." he braced himself, spreading his knees wider, and then stood, lifting Anders and pulling him to his feet with him easily, which effected a nice standing-without-actually-having-to-stop-touching motion.
"I think," he steadied Anders with hands still on his back and then walked him backwards to the bed, "I could really care less about the mattress, especially if you can be persuaded to take my hoodie off so I can see you. And touch you. But yeah." He snuck in a quick kiss when the backs of Anders' thighs hit the bed.
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Date: 2015-09-13 06:28 am (UTC)From:His adam's apple bobbed when Logan mentioned the hoodie and he looked down briefly, and then back up, smirking. "Alright." He sat down on the bed and scooted back, stripping the sweatshirt off over his head in a single motion and leaned back into the pillows with a grin.
He was hiding the scars on his back, but he didn't want to ruin anything by letting Logan see them, and he certainly wasn't prepared to have a conversation about his father at this moment. He lifted a hand and beckoned Logan to join him, all pale, lean lines of freckled, white skin, with spark reddish-gold hair in a tiny trail down his belly below his navel.
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Date: 2015-09-13 06:48 am (UTC)From:"Fuck, you're beautiful," he breathed, reaching first to run his fingers through the trail of hair and then dropping onto his side next to Anders and tracing a path up the contours of his chest, over ribs and muscle, touch feather-light. He propped himself up on one elbow.
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Date: 2015-09-13 07:01 am (UTC)From:"Logan." It wasn't a protest, instead, pleading as he looked up into his blue eyes. He raised a hand to brush fingers against his cheek. "You're going to make me blush." He was already blushing, a deep rose tinge to his skin all the way down to his chest. He grinned a little and then arched his neck up to steal a kiss.
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Date: 2015-09-13 07:19 am (UTC)From:His fingers moved up to curl under Anders' jaw and then he sighed, wriggling closer until he could drop his head against Anders' chest and throw his arm over his side - the angle wasn't great, but left him room enough to keep exploring with his fingertips. He wasn't entirely sure where the intense urge to just...snuggle up to Anders and curl into him and literally never stop touching him came from, because it wasn't like he'd really had anyone that he'd ever just...cuddled with before. Good lord. The idea that he might have done something like that with Rowan was just laughable. And he didn't consider himself a very touchy person, technically, since punching Carver's shoulder whenever he got particularly mouthy didn't count. Which...yeah, maybe that was the problem.
You spend so much time pining for someone you've never actually met, maybe you're bound to get touch-deprived.
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Date: 2015-09-13 04:31 pm (UTC)From:"You okay, sweetheart?" he asked gently, hand tracing warm circles on Logan's shoulder while he lay still, letting him explore. He lifted his head to kiss Logan's hair, breathing warm and trying to steady himself at this new, slower current. This wasn't the same want that had Logan grinding into his leg against the door, talking about Anders voice as fantasy material.
And that was fine, so long as Anders hadn't done anything to ruin it.
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Date: 2015-09-13 06:43 pm (UTC)From:But Anders seemed fine, loose-limbed and breathing steadily beneath him, and Logan tilted his head and tried to decide how to explain this new - well, not entirely new - want in his chest like a strange knot of slippery mushy feelings.
He said, "I want..." and his voice came out low and gravelly, so he cleared his throat and tried again. Then he frowned, because...words... and he wasn't exactly sure how to say what he wanted, or how much, except, "I'm pretty sure the scope of what I want goes way beyond having you suck me off and whisper dirty things to me."
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Date: 2015-09-13 07:00 pm (UTC)From:He winced again. "That sounded stupid. I'm fine with whatever you want, Logan, that's what I meant. We could just sit here and snuggle until we fell asleep, or..." He smirked, lopsided and wry, because now that Logan had pretty expressly declined the offer of a blowjob it seemed tacky to mention it again. "Or, more."
The low light made his eyes gleam, burnished, like they held their own inner light as he looked at Logan. "As long as I'm here." He hugged Logan tightly, bringing them chest to chest for a moment, skin warm and soft as he arched to increase the contact. "As long as I'm with you, everything else is just... icing. On a very strange cake."
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Date: 2015-09-13 07:28 pm (UTC)From:Logan didn't pull away from the kiss, his hand coming up to cup Anders' jaw, but he did wrinkle his nose when Anders pulled back. "You need to stop apologizing so much, my love, I'm not unhappy with you, not even close, I just..." He bit his lip and blinked several times in rapid succession. "I don't think I can adequately explain to you how much I mostly want to - to cherish you, make love to you, hold you."
"Which sounds... ridiculous, I know, but..." Logan shrugged, fixed his eyes on Anders' lovely gleaming ones like he could just will Anders to understand how much he meant to him, how much he wanted to give him. Cherish was a ridiculous romance novel sort of word, but Anders deserved to know how utterly Logan was in love with him. All of him. Not just his absurdly sexy voice and shockingly amazing body.
His breath hitched when Anders arched against him and held him tighter, and he slid forward to kiss Anders again.
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Date: 2015-09-13 07:43 pm (UTC)From:He kissed him back with slow brushes of his tongue, teasing, tender presses of his lips, holding him so tightly for long enough his arms were starting to shake from where he'd lifted himself slightly off the mattress. He released his grip and settled back, mouth trailing away, and murmured, "I'm not used to it being more than the physical stuff. I mean, I haven't been with anyone at all in a long time, but when I was younger I did a lot of stupid things with the wrong people." He flushed and looked away, chewing on the inside of his lip for a moment.
"Not apologizing, just explaining." He leaned up for another quick press of his lips. "I'm not used to... cherishing." His ridiculous, sentimental smile came back, a slow, delighted grin.
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Date: 2015-09-13 08:08 pm (UTC)From:"I'm not really either," he said, setting his chin on Anders' chest. "Or... Not really, anyways. I thought it was, but..." He exhaled. "The point being, I'm madly in love with you, Anders." He reached up to brush some of Anders' hair behind his ear and got an adoring smile on his face, a softer, smaller reflection of the one Anders was still wearing.
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Date: 2015-09-13 08:38 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2015-09-13 08:53 pm (UTC)From:And then he bent and started kissing his way up Anders' chest, following the edges of his muscles, paying special attention to the most prominent of his freckles, licking and sucking and dragging his lips but always just skirting around his nipples, teasing.
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Date: 2015-09-13 09:10 pm (UTC)From:When Logan's warm, wet mouth met the skin of his chest he gasped softly, just a tiny intake of breath, and then chuckled shakily. "God, Logan." He looked down, arching slightly, marveling at the way his warm brown skin shown against his pasty white, and wet his lips. He cupped the back of Logan's neck, fingers curling tenderly just under his ear, and let out a little moan when his mouth teased near his nipple.
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