Hawke - Open to All

[fadehawke]

Waking up in unfamiliar territory was a new experience for Hawke, and the first thing he noticed about it was the fact that he wasn't brought back to consciousness by the tongue of an over-enthused dog. As if that should be a priority, he thought ruefully, even as he rolled to the side and ducked behind a pile of stacked stone bricks so he could get a look at the area without being seen. It was jarring to be suddenly relocated, almost like a dream; he'd only just seated himself down in that delightfully cushy chair by the fire in his mansion for a nap, waiting for Isabella to stop by with details for a job she'd mentioned at the Hanged Man the night before. Fully equipped, thank the Maker, which meant he had everything he might need for an escape on hand.

Actually, that was the strangest part about all of this. Why would anyone abduct him only to leave him armed and unguarded in some decrepit old castle? These are either the worst captors in history, or I've been dumped here to kill a dragon for someone.

To be fair, with his reputation (and luck), that was entirely possible.

A series of footsteps at his back makes him twist, dagger half-drawn, but he halts when he comes face to face with a tired and bewildered traveler climbing the hill towards the castle. Footprints in the snow, Hawke noticed, indicate that he'd gone wandering and had come right back. And when he gazed beyond the stranger, he realized why: outside was a vast, dark, nightmarish abyss. Eerily familiar and yet completely alien at the same time.

Frowning, he slid his dagger back into its scabbard and cautiously stood, stepping out into the courtyard. It seemed that this was no simple abduction.

Time to explore- and ask as many questions as he can come up with.

Comments

[fadehawke]

Fenris wasn't the only one trying to decipher how to handle the conversation. Hawke himself was constantly torn between sticking to the usual degree of personal space or wrapping his arms around his prickly, on-off lover. He hated, hated not knowing, but it also felt a bit silly to ask about it outright. How does one person go about asking another if they're an item? As if this place weren't complicated enough already.

"Suppose we might find a quiet place to talk?" he finally suggested, gesturing in the direction of the nearest building. He had yet to explore, but for the moment it wasn't a priority.

[fenrisfadewalk]

Fenris gave a sharp, quick bob of his head. Honestly, he would have agreed with near anything Hawke suggested by this point in his life--even defend mages. It was strange how much power the mage had over him, and how little he resented it.

[fadehawke]

Well, alright then. Hawke's expression was at once openly relieved, and he started down the path towards the interior of the castle. He used the sounds of voices and general clutter to guide his steps, steering away from wherever it seemed that people had gathered. He'd do a proper walk-about later on, meet people, get a feel for the land. But it could wait.

Finally they stumbled upon a half-collapsed corridor that seemed abandoned enough to satisfy him, lightly decorated with furniture that didn't look like it would collapse in a light breeze. He tested that by wearily dropping into the nearest chair. "That's better. A few more surprises and I'll ruin my whole reputation with a dead faint."

[fenrisfadewalk]

Fenris chuffed a laugh and carefully took a seat. He ignored the cloud of dust and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, eyes fixed on Hawke's face. "Part of your reputation encompasses the tendency to melodrama," he pointed out.

[fadehawke]

"I suppose I ought to be relieved." That probably wasn't the right word for it, but it was enough of a victory to have successfully made Fenris laugh, so he won't gripe. He met that iron gaze easily enough, but the words he wanted to speak were more of a struggle. "Fenris, I..."

[fenrisfadewalk]

"...Hawke."

[fadehawke]

Fenris wasn't making this any easier. To have followed him here without question, to support his moment of weakness after seeing Carver with no hesitation at all... they were reasons he couldn't understand those who criticized the former slave before getting to know him. He knew few people outside of his family who were half as loyal as Fenris could be, if trust was earned. (That was admittedly the hard part, but it was more than worth it, in his extremely biased opinion.)

Maker's balls, I don't know how to ask him. "...Sorry. It's absurd, thinking about anything but getting ourselves out of this mess."

[fenrisfadewalk]

"Absurdity has never stopped you before," he said, lips tilting at the corners. He leaned in closer, however, green eyes tracking over Hawke's face in concern. "What is it?"

[fadehawke]

Those handsome eyes on him weren't making it any easier. Finally Hawke closed his own eyes to keep Fenris's expression from making him falter, hands clenched together between his knees. What was the worst that could happen, really? Fenris might get angry? It wasn't as if that was an unusual thing.

Alright, then. Courage. Like facing a dragon or something. Surely they two were comparable? "I've been trying to figure out where we stand, Fenris. The two of us."

[fenrisfadewalk]

Fenris sat back sharply, immediately flushing and dropping his eyes. He was never--never--very good at these sorts of conversations, even though he had been trying to psyche himself up to starting one before being swept away to this strange place. "Where we stand," he repeated, voice gruff but--importantly--not angry.

[fadehawke]

The tone he heard was enough to make Hawke look up again, knuckles white. "Mm, yes. An important thing to be aware of, before I do something impulsive like kiss you when it's unwanted. For example."

Subtlety: not his redeeming trait.

[fenrisfadewalk]

Fenris didn't like to be caught off-guard. In fact, usually it left him irritable and hissing, lyrium markings lighting up like a lightning bug. But this...

He just stared at Hawke, utterly bewildered. "You want to kiss me?" he demanded. He hadn't meant to sound so harsh--this was what he had been coming to Hawke hoping so desperately for--but now, here...it was all a lot to take in.

[fadehawke]

The fact that Fenris didn't light up dangerously was a good sign. It meant that the words weren't entirely unwelcome, or at least that they were on good enough graces that he could get away with it. He would happily take either option. You sort of had to take what you could get with Fenris.

"Fenris, I've wanted to kiss you again for years." While he was being up-front about it. "Your face. Quite kissable. I'm not one to pressure the unwilling, but on the off-chance we're going to die horribly trapped in the Fade in the near future, I thought I'd at least be honest with you."

[fenrisfadewalk]

Fenris just stared at him, processing Hawke's words...mind whirling. He felt as if Hawke had just grabbed his world, shook it and hung it upside-down.

This was not new.

Also not new was the surge of emotion, of visceral love and fear, both hand in hand. Hawke terrified him. The way Fenris felt about him terrified him. But Fenris had tried denying that he drew him as well, dazzled him, made his heart ache, and--

And the thought of Hawke dying--

Fenris bared his teeth in something very much like a snarl, pushing up and out of his chair. He towered over Hawke for a moment, expression impossible to read--before suddenly leaning in to press his lips hard yet sweet against Hawke's open mouth.

[fadehawke]

There was a moment of surprise on Hawke'e end, since that expression on the face of someone like Fenris often meant that one's doom was approaching. He hadn't thought Fenris cruel enough to turn on a friend - and sweet Maker he'd hoped desperately that he could still get away with using 'friend' as a way to describe their relationship, at the very least - but injury and a swift verbal lashing wasn't out of the question.

He hadn't expected that a kiss would be how Fenris used his tongue in that moment.

Hawke returned it, of course, after he shrugged off his shock with a pleased hum; he'd be a maniac to do anything else, after such a confession. And despite his apparent inexperience, Fenris was- well, he was so good at kissing. Clumsy, perhaps, and rushed, but there was a passion in him that Hawke had never experienced before. He threw himself wholeheartedly into practically everything he did, and it was a delight to watch. It was part of what had drew him to Fenris in the first place. It was why he hadn't turned Fenris away that night the elf had approached him at the mansion and bared his heart. It was why he welcomed the kiss with a passion he hoped matched that of Fenris himself, because they deserved a chance at something, dammit.

Honestly, he hadn't imagined that confession would work. Sometimes he really is the luckiest bastard in the world.

[fenrisfadewalk]

Everything was lost the moment Hawke kissed back. Or maybe it had been lost long before then? Bah, it didn't matter--at the answering brush of his lips, the soft rasp of Hawke's beard against his chin, a surge of heat and raw emotion rocked through him.

Hawke was his. Fenris had never had much to call his own, but he was more certain of this than anything. Hawke was his, and he wanted him desperately.

He pressed a hand over Hawke's heart, shoving him back deeper into his seat. Fenris followed the movement, sliding lithely onto Hawke's lap, straddling his hips and slipping his tongue into the other man's mouth to brush his own.

[fadehawke]

There was no hesitation this time. The moment Fenris straddled him, Hawke's hands found his waist, pulling him as close as their bodies would allow. He knew they ought to have different priorities, knew they should be focusing on resolving whatever the mystery that brought them here might be and getting back home as soon as possible.

He also knew he didn't give a damn about anything but the man in his arms, and the rest of the world - and the Fade - could sod off until they had things sorted.

His mouth opened eagerly to be explored, the familiarity of each gesture a welcome thing. There was a small twang of concern, guilt even- there was no telling if these actions would trigger another memory within Fenris, and his only concern there would be the pain it might cause. He wished no ill upon Fenris, never had. The feeling didn't stop him from kissing back, though. He trusted Fenris to tell him if it became an issue.

Maybe this time, though... it could be different. Was it wrong to hope for that?

[fenrisfadewalk]

Fenris didn't care about anything. He knew he should have, but it had all faded to a dull buzz in the back of his mind as he dug his fingers into Hawke's hair, points of his gauntlets pricking lightly across his scalp.

Mine.

He tangled their tongues together, riding the hitch of Hawke's hips, the way Hawke pulled him closer. Each moment of their first time together was emblazoned in his memory, and he instinctively copied what he did then, wanting to give Hawke pleasure after so many years of pain. He teased the other man's tongue into his mouth with a low noise, then wrapped his lips around it, firming suction, tugging as his knees tightened their grip about Hawke's waist.

I'm so sorry for lateness! been packing all week D8

[fadehawke]

Hawke couldn't help the groan that escaped between their lips, his fingers dancing over the tough leathers of Fenris's armor. It was all so delightfully familiar; the way the elf's body melded into his like they were meant to, the way their tongues met and reacquainted with more ease than he expected. It was as if the years he had spent waiting, wondering, woefully hoping, had not passed by at all. As if it was the morning after, and the kiss was a follow-up from what they had done the previous night at most.

Perhaps it was because out of any lover he'd had in his lifetime, he'd never felt as strongly as he did for Fenris. He'd always been rather carefree with his affection, something that admittedly had gotten him into trouble a few times. Casual sex was a perfectly acceptable encounter between two people who were willing and eager enough, and it could easily have ended with Fenris that way, too. Something had... stuck, though. In his mind, or perhaps his heart, to be more precise. The thought of letting go had stung a bit, but he'd held his tongue.

Thank the Maker, he didn't have to anymore. There were better things he planned to do with his tongue, going forward.