RP: Aria (lavellanfadewalk) ((NSFW content further down))

[blackwall_fadewalk]

Skyhold. He was back in- but the sky…

Sometimes Sera had the absolute right of it. Fucking magic shite.

Blackwall sighed, choking up a tad on the bit of chair leg. There was the feeling of Darkspawn or other Wardens in the distance. Supposed to be someday he’d be able to tell the difference. Didn’t do him much good now.

The hold was empty. Not even wind to make the trees move. Like the air just before the storm broke. Unsettling.

He paced along the battlements one foot at a time. No one else around ‘less they were sneakier than him. Not like that was hard. His Warden armour made enough noise to cover a snowfleur’s approach. The next tower was the one the Inquisitor had refitted for the Mages. Couldn’t hurt to have a quick look. Some mageling may have hid in there and could tell him what in the Blighted Void was going on.

The west door opened with only a small creak.

Comments

[blackwall_fadewalk]

“Hate to make you cry again.” He sniffled hard and wiped his tears away. There was a small cupboard next to the bath. Grabbed one of the washcloths from there and offered it to Aria. “Mind if we take all this back to the bed? My feet are freezing, and I don’t imagine yours are a lot better.”

[lavellanfadewalk]

"No, I don't mind. In fact, I was about to suggest it."

Aria left his lap and moved to dress her undergarments back, since Blackwall had brought it for her. She grabbed the duvet and a pair of pillows and went back to the fancy orlesian bed, putting the duvet back in place and waiting for him to lay with her.

[blackwall_fadewalk]

There were a few moments where he’d contemplated trying to sweep Aria up and carry her to the bed. His back cracked as he stood, reminded him just how and why that was a stupid idea at present. Maybe when he wasn’t so fucking worn out. A lazy smile curled his lips, the sense-memory of the taste of her come making his mouth water. Good way to get worn out, at least.

He fetched the pillow he’d been sat on, laughing a little when his meagre contribution was put back in place. “Doing all the heavy lifting for me. Feels like I’m back in battle, in the strangest way.”

He slid under the covers, ignored his trousers twisting and riding up his legs. Laid out on his back with a groan. At least the mattress wasn’t as terrible as the rest of the bed. He turned his head, probably staring at Aria all soppy, and offered his chest for pillow duty.

[lavellanfadewalk]

Once Blackwall was settled, she curled by his side, resting her head over his chest. She tangled her leg over his, lazily stroking his side with her hand "Oh, you know how the world works... mages own the battlefield, knights get beaten in their place. If not by you and Bull, I wouldn't be able to cast properly and doom our enemies." she grinned, fully aware she was being an ass.

"And without you Thom, how could I ever remain like this, in one piece and beautiful?" the grin widened.

[blackwall_fadewalk]

She made a joke of it, but she wasn’t wrong. He and Bull were the wall of flesh and armour between her and Varric, and the enemies they slaughtered. He was still chuckling a little when she.

That. Why? She'd called him. But why? That man was a fucking monster, and he’d.

She tensed against his side, which is what made him notice he’d stopped breathing. He blinked, eyes dry, staring at a particular bit of masonry in the ceiling. His voice scraped coming out of his throat. “No matter how many pieces you’re in, you’re still gorgeous.” It was a pitiful attempt at sounding normal.

[lavellanfadewalk]

That wasn't a reaction she was waiting after joking about him and Bull. His heart skipping a beat, muscles stiffening. Aria frowned, narrowing her eyes. What was wrong?

"Gorgeous, yes." she moved to sit by his side "What did I do? Something I said?"

Her voice was soft, not particulary pressing, but she was clearly worried. She held his hand and kissed his knuckles, putting his hair back in place with her fingers later. Waiting for an answer.

[blackwall_fadewalk]

“No.” Liar. “Not- you didn’t- It’s nothing.” It’s fucking everything.

His throat closes around the words, and no amount of swallowing will get them loose. He can’t get up, can’t look Aria in the eye even though he's really scaring her this time. He can’t do that. She was just laying her heart bare, he can’t.

“You said.” He tried to take deep breaths. “Called me Thom.” He tried to laugh it off. “Confused me. Why you’d call me… that.” Monster monster monster. She knows. She sees you, she can fucking see you. What you really are. Disgusting Filthy Murderer.

“Just, last time anyone used that name for me, I was going to hang. For good reason, of course. But still. Not exactly…” His eyes met Aria’s. Wasn’t sure what he found there, but it made him want to take everything he’d just said back. “Good memories.”

[lavellanfadewalk]

"Goodness, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to... I just..."

Aria looked away, blushing.
She wasn't used to feeling ashamed.

"I called you Thom because... it's your name." she smiled, still embarrassed "But I should obviously had thought about how this would affect you, all things considered. I don't know what I was thinking..." not much, considering that not minutes ago his tongue was stealing her reasoning, but... "It didn't feel right call you by other man's name, considering our intimate activities." she tried to chuckle, but instead a weird, strangled sound left her mouth "And... and you asked me before, to accept all of you and... I don't know how else I could show you that I do. Accept all of you, it is."

She was running out of words, evidently.
"Ugh, sorry." Aria hid her face on the curve of his neck "Mythal, now is a good time to struck me and set the world free of my pathetic reasoning."

[blackwall_fadewalk]

Something in him fractured a little, but it didn’t feel entirely like a bad thing. He rolled over onto his side, cradled Aria’s head against his neck so she wouldn’t see.

“No that’s-” He cleared his throat. “If you want to call me that. It is my name. Just.” He stroked his hand over her hair, trying to settle them both. “I’d rather not hear anyone else call me that. So, if you could just.” He had no idea how to tell her why he needed. Why he coudn't stand if someone else should call him.

Thom.

He’d tried not to think about it. Another way of running from it. What he’d done. What he’d escaped. The man he’d been, worthless and rotten to the core. But that was him, wasn’t it? He’d boarded over the rot and thought it’d be enough to keep himself sturdy. Tried to pretend that another man’s foundation was his own.

Blackwall.

A better, stronger man than he’d ever been. Brave, honourable. Righteous. Willing to take on the burden of fighting the Darkspawn so that innocent people would never need to know that terror. He’d wanted that for himself. When the chance came, when the Warden’s might’ve condemned him for letting a good man die for his sake, he’d taken it. Gordon Blackwall’s life. But he’d been revealed for a fraud. Forced to face the consequences, however lenient. A Warden in truth.

So. Where did that leave him?

He pressed a kiss to Aria’s hair. His redeemer, in a sense. Given him a chance, under his own name, to be the hero he’d so long pretended at. If anyone had the right to call him by what he was.

“You can call me T-Thom.”

[lavellanfadewalk]

She snuggled closer to him, drawing circles in the middle of his chest with her finger "Are you sure? You don't have to say it just to make me feel less inconsiderate than I was."

[blackwall_fadewalk]

Was he sure? He shuffled closer to Aria, free hand rubbing over her back. No. He wasn’t. But certainty had never been a large figure in his life. No point in introducing it now. The only thing he was sure of in any way was that he wanted to sleep, next to the woman he loved, and then help her find a way out of this fucking bizarre Fade-world. Everything else? Would keep.

“It’s fine, love. I trust you.” Not enough to tell her anything, but oh yes, you trust her. He sighed, rolled onto his back again and pulled the duvet up to cover Aria’s shoulders. “I could do with a kip, I think. Care to join me?”

[lavellanfadewalk]

Sleep.
That was something she was really missing.
Her head moved back to his chest and she placed her arm around his waist, sighing and melting in the warmth of his body and how she felt cozy and safe next to him.

"Lovely idea. It's really hard to keep track of time here and I haven't stopped since I arived."

[blackwall_fadewalk]

He settled a little further, pulling the duvet down so he would be able to throw it off and grab his weapons if need be. Sighed with pleasure as Aria snuggled in to his side. It had been an age since he’d shared a bed, but he hadn’t forgotten the feeling. “Sleep, then. I’ll be here when you wake.”

The steadiness of her breathing eased him. Let his mind quiet, body relax. Probably should’ve warned her about the snoring. But when he tried to look and make sure he wouldn’t be waking her, his eyelids were too heavy to open. In the morning, then.