RP: Alistair (fereldens_king) (NSFW content down the way)

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Daylen hadn't slept well in years. Demons had tried to play their games, and when they weren't toying with him, nightmares of all the ways he'd failed Alistair all those years ago plagued him.

Figures it would take a botched grab for his own death, spurred by what he'd now been told was a false Calling, and a bizarre side-trip into the Fade to bring him a little peace.

Peace that had everything to do with the warm bulk of this impossible man beside him. Behind him? He wasn't sure as he came awake by bits and pieces. He was sprawled on his stomach, rolled there from his side in the... night? Did it count as night? He thought it might actually be darker now than it had been when they'd climbed into the bed.

And now that he was awake he could think about all the things he'd done yesterday since falling out of the Deep Roads and to this strange place that he shouldn't have.

Probably including climbing into bed with this Alistair, this strange mirror of his own Voice who he'd been aching to follow into death for years and now... He sighed raggedly, burying his face in the pillow under his head and tried to grapple with the sudden twist of loathing he felt for himself.

Comments

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

The moan only encouraged Daylen's roaming hand to find small spots, secret sensitive places, squeezing softly, or a feather touch, or the scrape of nails, sensitizing, giving Alistair more to feel.

He arched with the pull of Alistair's hands, kiss deep and hungry, wet and open, encouraging the other man's tongue into his mouth, needy, eager noises in his throat.

Maker's balls, how he wanted. He needed to slow down again, needed to check with Alistair, make sure it was still what he wanted, and then there was the needling, eager hunger of the tension, the resonance between them, that he could deny the bond, hold it back but not if he went much further down this path.

"Bloody void, Alistair," he gasped, voice breaking, as he moved his mouth to the top of his shoulder. He bit the join of his neck, the thick muscle there. Not hard enough to mark, but enough to feel, and then lapped at the sting with his eager tongue.

[fereldans_king]

Alistair panted, gasping for air like he was drowning between slick, wet, eager open-mouthed kisses. Daylen's hands roamed across his skin and seemed to find ever spot which could have evoked a reaction from him - shivers, moans, even a needy whine escaped him as Daylen's nails scraped across his chest and down his side, catching his nipple again in the movement.

Daylen bit down on his his shoulder, and Alistair gave up all attempts to resist his impulse to grind his hips up against the man practically in his lap. The hand buried in Daylen's hair slid down to match his other hand on the man's ass, scratching his nails down Daylen's back in the process. His grip was tight enough that, for a moment, he was afraid he would leave bruises. Immediately, his touch lightened, but he could stop himself from arching his hips up against Daylen with another breathy whine.

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

When Alistair's control broke, even momentarily, Daylen bit him again, a scrape of teeth over his collar bone as the nails dragged down his back. He met the arching of Alistair's hips, eager to follow the bruising-tight grip on his ass, rubbing together in a rough, frictive jerk.

The whine, oh that whine. Daylen kissed and nipped and wriggled down away from Alistair's hands and further until he was kneeling between his thighs again, hands on the laces of Alistair's breeches. He wet his lips, looking up at him through the messy fall of his shaggy hair. "Can I?" he asked roughly.

[fereldans_king]

Alistair was breathless, panting, flushed from his hairline to halfway down his chest, his pupils blown wide with desire. Having Daylen in his lap, moving with him - it was like the best parts of intoxication and adrenaline mixed together.

Daylen pulled away from Alistair's hands, and he couldn't prevent a noise of protest from leaving his lips. As Daylen settled between his legs, Alistair's eyes widen. Daylan's hands settled on the laces of his breeches, and he just barely aborted thrusting up against them. He breathed in shakily, and answered, his voice deep and rumbling in his chest. "Whatever you wish."

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Well, he wished a great many things, Daylen did. But he started with untying Alistair's breeches with fingers that felt too fat for the job. He disguised their clumsy trembling by grazing them gently over the hard length beneath them, slow teases up the inside of Alistair's thighs.

He darted continuous glances back up at Alistair, watching his face carefully, but as he peeled open his pants and dragged them down his hips, he couldn't stop his eyes from dipping down when Alistair's cock was free.

(OOC: If cock isn't your word of choice, totally let me know. :D )

[fereldans_king]

((OOC: Nope, cock is great! I'd giggle too much if we used something else, like 'member' *snort*.))

Alistair shivered and mewled as Daylen's fingers traced up his thighs and over his cock. When the mage went to drag his pants down, Alistair lifted his hips a little to help; free of the confines of his pants and smalls, his cock sprung upwards and slapped against the muscles of his stomach.

Alistair knew he was no slouch in the size department - he'd had a few careful opportunities to compare with others during Templar training. Thicker than many, but of average length - but now he was so hard that it curved towards his stomach, aching and already damp at the tip with pre-come. Alistair looked down the length of his body at Daylen, and if anything, his blush got more intense.

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

The breathless expression that Daylen shot up at Alistair was full of yearning, almost pained, but he swallowed, closed his eyes for a moment, when he reopened them his smile was almost sweet. There was just too much of a quirk at the corner of his mouth for innocence. He let his eyes drag from Alistair's face down to his cock, the soft, voiced sigh one of pleasure, satisfaction.

"See? Gorgeous."

He reached slowly with one careful hand to rest on Alistair's hip, anchoring him, and leaned forward to kiss the very root and lapped slowly upward toward the tip. Once he reached it, he looked up at Alistair again, gauging his reaction.

He wanted more than anything to make him feel good, cherished and worshipped, but Daylen was fearful of the resonance, the strange possibility of some kind of bond between them, when he knew Alistair was not prepared for what that would mean. But this... this he would relish doing while being able to hold back the intent.

[fereldans_king]

"Yes, gorgeous, the unpracticed...Maker's balls!" Alistair cursed, surging up against Daylen's hand pinning him to the bed, as he licked his way up his cock. The humming presence of Daylen's magic behind his eyes was transmuting into something bone-deep and intensely pleasant, like stepping into a hot bath. A yearning, desperate whine escaped him when Daylen stopped, and Alistair looked faintly embarrassed by the noise.

This was maddening and wonderful and overwhelming in ways Alistair had only ever imagined. He reached out to Daylen, his fingertips running tenderly across the mage's cheek and down his jaw. "You're spoiling me for anyone else." Alistair smiled encouragingly. "Don't stop."

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Daylen rubbed his face gently along Alistair's cock with one cheek while his fingers gathered under it and gave a slow, gentle pull. "Not until you tell me to," he murmured, and turned back to lap at the crown, and then close his lips around it in a wet, sucking kiss.

He took his time working down. Maker, he was rusty. He hadn't done this on anyone since that last night before the battle of Denerim, and that cock had been exactly the same, heavy and thick and perfect hitting the back of his throat. Still, he managed to work his tongue, suck in slow bobs, sinking lower each time, letting his jaw adjust as his hand kept up the same gentle rhythm where his mouth didn't reach.

He listened carefully, awareness full tuned to Alistair, the way he breathed and moved. The hand on his hip held him tight, but the thumb would soothe small circles into the skin when Daylen had to draw back before plunging back down.

[fereldans_king]

Alistair panted, soft whimpers of pleasure with every breath. He turned into a puddle of arousal every time Daylen took him farther into his mouth, and strained against Daylen's hand holding him down on every upstroke.

When Daylen's tongue laved at the edge of his cock's head, he groaned; his hands, fluttering lost for a moment, eventually settled in Daylen's hair - where Alistair desperately tried not to clutch at the man.

All the sensations - Daylen's hand on his hip, Daylen's mouth on his cock, Alistair own untutored libido, and his awareness of Daylen's magic roiling through him like an overly affection cat, rubbing against him from the inside, quickly began to overwhelm him.

He groaned, out of breath, "Wait....close..."

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Daylen pulled back long enough to look up at him, and murmur, "You don't have to hold back." He let go of Alistair's hip to close his hand over the fingers in his hair, tightening around them and encouraging him to give a tug.

This time when he moved his mouth back over Alistair he didn't try to hold him still, moaning soft encouragement whenever he flexed upwards, following even the slightly guidance from the hands in his hair. One of his own hands moved down to stroke and cup Alistair's balls, rubbing a gentle knuckle over the smooth skin just behind them, hints of pressure there, and the other hand stayed closed around the base of his cock, small, pulsing squeezes.

[fereldans_king]

Alistair was surprised at how intense the pulse of lust was that ran through him at Daylen's encouragement to wind his fingers in his hair and tug. Slowly, carefully, alert to Daylen making any sort of noise of distress, Alistair used Daylen's hair to guide him up and down his cock.

He was shaking from the effort to hold back, to not thrust into the slick, wet heat of Daylen's mouth. The mage's moans of encouragement, however, soon broke through his resistance. He thrust upwards as Daylen's hands stroked his balls, and let out a strangled groan as his ministrations.

Pleasure tore a yell from his throat as he came, arching up off the bed and curling around Daylen in his lap. His hands tightened in Daylen's hair, before he forced them open. He fell back with a thump, a boneless puddle, complete with a blissful expression on his face. In that moment, he had felt as if he could have reached out and touched the combines energies of his list and Daylen's magic. Combined with that earth-shattering orgasm, he was a nonverbal, purring mess.

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

During Alistair's orgasm, Daylen was glad he was driving into his mouth, because he had to concentrate very hard on not letting whatever questing tendrils of magic that threatened to weave between them settle. There could be no bond, without intent. But it was hard, so hard, when Alistair was giving and open and wonderful.

So letting him fuck his mouth made perfect sense from that perspective. He also just liked it. He swallowed with the fluid that rushed across his tongue, letting the hands in his hair hold him in place until they released him and Alistair fell back.

Daylen stayed kneeling between his legs, panting, forehead pressed against his navel, ignoring the want, the tug that was turning to a prickling spur, that made his eyes sting. Maker, it hurt to have everything he wanted half-naked under him and not be able to reach for it. He pressed slow kisses against Alistair's stomach, taking deep, gulping breaths, trying not to let tears well up, and trying to force his own lust back.

[fereldans_king]

In a surprising show of strength for a boneless heap, Alistair hauled Daylen up from his kneeling position to one sprawled across his chest. Alistair kissed Daylen, slow but insistent, his tongue seeking out the sweet corners of Daylen's mouth unhesitatingly.

After a long (not long enough) moment, Alistair pulled back to look Daylen in the eyes. His smile was broad, his expression still blissed. Alistair's hands stroked across Daylen's exposed skin, following the same pattern Daylen's had across Alistair's - across his collarbones, up his shoulders, down his arms and then across Daylen's chest, where the gentle pad of a thumb rubbed across one nipple.

"That was...wow. I mean....wow." Alistair scattered tiny kisses all across Daylen's cheekbones and lips. He blushed, an eager expression creeping onto his face. "I hope I can reciprocate as...spectacularly."

(OOC: I should probably get some sleep, at some point tonight. But, *whines* I don't want to leave! *sigh, resigned* Continue tomorrow?)

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Daylen let Alistair draw him up to his chest again, though he shifted slightly off to one side, not as much pressure directly on top of him. He kissed him back, languid and tender, and sighed softly when it broke. His smile was sweet and genuine though as he watched Alistair's face. The ache in him worth it to keep that blissful, wonderful smile true.

At the mention of reciprocation, Daylen flushed and looked away, before murmuring, "Alistair, I want too much with you. If you do that... the bond-- you might wind up with a part of me in your mind or heart or whatever for the rest of your life. I need to get back in control." He brushed his lips against Alistair's cheek softly. "

(OOC: Yep, I'm falling asleep and have to be at work in 5 hours. Boooo. Until tomorrow! They can argue about reciprocation then. ;) )

[fereldans_king]

Alistair turned and capture Daylen's lips in another kiss before he could pull away again. He tried to pour the warmth he felt laying here with Daylen, the feeling of suddenly no longer being alone, his desire to give back just as good as he had recieved, all that untutored passion, into the kiss - to tell Daylen without putting words to the giant jumble of emotions in his head and chest.

When Alistair pulled back, he looked thoughtful and serious. "What is it like, being Bonded?" He asked quietly, as his hands continued to roam across Daylen's back and sides - slowly exploring just as Daylen had earlier.

((OOC: And I had an interview six hours from then. Yay for crazy devoted muns, boo for work!))

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Daylen made a surprised noise at Alistair took another kiss, but he wasn't proud enough to pretend it wasn't melting him in amazing ways. He hummed in his throat as Alistair broke away and then sighed, arching a little against the roaming hands

"Like being complete," he answered after a moment. "There are more colors in the world. Contentment. Rest and strength and knowing without doubt you are loved absolutely. Feeling more than just yourself." His voice dropped, husky and thick with emotion, eyes closed because there were definitely tears there.

[fereldans_king]

Alistair hummed thoughtfully as Daylen described what being Bonded was like. He leaned in and pressed gentle kisses to each of Daylen's eyes, before commenting softly, "Who could ever want to refuse a gift like that?"

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

(OOC: Home from work finally. Apologies in advance for Daylen being sort of prickly and jerkish. ;) )

The kisses over his eyes made Daylen sigh, then again, more heavily at Alistair's words. He tried to roll off of him. "Lots of people. People who believe the chantry is right. People who've seen a bonded Voice waste away to nothing when their mage was executed as a maleficar. Anyone who's ever heard anything about Tevinter is usually pretty fucking hesitant."

Daylen never wanted to stop touching Alistair, wanted to seek that comfort, the press of hands and warm skin. Instead he tried to put distance between them. "It isn't... what did you call it? A romantic fantasy. It's hard, and it hurts. When my Voice died I begged for death. For days. Zevran and Leliana were kind. Wynne couldn't even look at me. For years I couldn't taste food, nothing felt like anything. I went through the motions, but there was nothing inside me. I'm pretty sure none of the wardens who were in Amaranthine ever learned my first name because I wouldn't talk to them. Here, with you, it's like some shade has been lifted and there's light again, and I'm terrified of losing it... but if it goes further, if we bonded, and I'm still not sure it's possible, and then for some reason in all the mess here we got separated, or... one of us was killed..." He broke off, choking back a sob, and pressing thumbs into his eyes to stifle the tears. "I can't risk it, and I cannot risk you."

[fereldans_king]

((OOC: Conflict, my favorite spice! *grin*))

Alistair's grip on Daylen tightened for a moment, before he reluctantly let the mage move away from him. The frustration and pain in Daylen's voice cut through the mellow, drowsy feeling suffusing Alistair, and he pulled himself up, leaning back on his arms so that he could give Daylen the space he seemed to need. The warm, humming sensation of Daylen's magic moving against his senses turned sharp and cold, a jarring vibration instead of a gentle hum, as Daylen worked himself up.

"Daylen..." Alistair hesitated, and then shook his head. With a determined set to his expression, he spoke. "The Chantry is not the supreme voice of authority on magic, in your time or mine. You may have been too busy in the Deep Roads to have heard, but the Chantry tried to help solve the Mage-Templar War with their dogma and rhetoric, and only succeed in getting most of themselves killed. They tried to denounce the Herald of Andraste, a mage like yourself, as heretical and the source of the problems with the Breach - and Lady Trevelyan has done an admirable job at proving them wrong." Alistair held up a single finger - point number one.

A second finger joined the first - point number two. "There are any number of stories about true lovers wasting away to nothing after they've lost their soulmate; there are just as many lascivious tales about a rakish gentleman sweeping in and saving the lady from pining away. It is not an unfamiliar concept. And who exactly would try to execute the Hero of Fereldan for blood magic? Especially with the backing of well-liked ruler."

A third finger - point number three. "Everyone is hesitant about anything that comes out of Tevinter. It's rather a moot point, don't you think?"

Alistair sighed, his expression serious again. "I am sorry for your grief and your pain. If I could kick my other self for leaving you in such a state, you can damn well bet I would. No one deserves to be left alone in the world." He reached out, slowly, to take Daylen's hand in his.

"Please. I....I don't want to upset you any further." Alistair shifted uncomfortably - both due to the desire to comfort the upset man in front of him, and because of the jagged feeling of Daylen's disquieted magic.

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Daylen raked his hands through his hair and then threw them up into the air, sitting up suddenly. "Sweet baby Andraste's dirty diapers, Alistair! You aren't listening!" He twisted around to look at him, sitting on his feet, on his knees, and crowded him, nose nearly touching. "I am trying to save you. If whatever it takes to get you home, safe and alive, means I can't go with you? If we're bonded I won't be strong enough to let you go. You'll hurt, and you'll pine, and you might become cruel, and you'll die."

He reached out, despite how frantic he'd become thinking about this future in which he lost Alistair again, with the tenderest fingers to cup his jaw. "I won't do that to you. And you said, before you said you have to return to them. So, what if this is all a spell, and it's broken, and we all just go back to where we came from? Do you want to feel me burn to death in the Deep Roads and then live with that pain here--" he moved his hand to Alistair's bare chest, fingers almost snapping with heat above his heart. "--until it ate you alive and you died? And you'd hate me. Oh, you would hate me for doing that to you, to your country."

He folded forward, slowly, slowly, unable to resist now that his hands were on Alistair again, and pressed his forehead to his chest, shoulders shaking. He was afraid. This close, with skin contact, and as close to bonding as they'd been, his fear was like a flavor in the air, cold and sharp, strangling. Encompassing.

[fereldans_king]

Daylen's fear was like the bitter tang of chalk, the harsh vibration of his magic like broken glass and metal in Alistair's head and chest. He visibly flinched as Daylen's ranting got louder and more distressed, one hand coming up to shield an ear in a futile gesture - Daylen's magic was definitely responding to his agitated emotions. The heat from Daylen's hand above his heart drew a pained grunt.

But the stinging, scraping sensation only made Alistair determined, angry. "I am listening, Daylen. You are frightened and angry and had given up hope, and now you're trying to save me because you feel guilty for not having saved him." Some part of Alistair's brain screeched at him to stop, that he was being cruel, that he had no right to say something like that. He ignored in, and pushed onwards.

"It was never your job to save everyone, Warden Amell - it was your job, and his, to end the Blight and give Thedas another opportunity to find peace for a time. He did his job, not just for his country, or for Thedas. He did it for you. Because he loved you enough to want peace for you."

Alistair, forcing himself to be calm, to ignore the sandpaper ache causing tremors in his shoulders, and to wrap his arms around Daylen in a gentle hug. He sighed, and murmured, "I am not him, and you cannot save me from something that may already be too late."

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

Alistair's words and strong arms and the fact that Daylen knew he had to be hurting him, made him damp it back. His control was not what it used to be, over his emotions, newly awakened, or his magic, but he tried, shoving it all down and away, and breathing, a slow shudder.

"He was the only one who mattered to me," he whispered, breathless and hollow against Alistair's collar bone. "I did things that made him so angry to try to give us a chance, but he still died."

He was still afraid, desperately so, but his franticness had subsided. "It isn't too late. It's there, like a window waiting to be opened, but we haven't bonded. But you are my Voice, Alistair. I'm pretty damn sure about that now, and lucky me, you're as much of a stubborn arse as he was."

[fereldans_king]

Alistair gently ran his fingers through Daylen's hair, and sighed. The choking, bitter tang subsided as Daylen worked to control himself, though the scraping, stinging vibration remained. Alistair winced, minute trembling still shaking his body. "People make their own choices. We Wardens make our choice with our eyes open - 'In death, sacrifice.'"

He tried to aim for a jesting tone, the humor poorly disguising the pain in his voice. "And somethings never change, Daylen. The sun rises in the East, the darkspawn are awful, and I am a stubborn idiot, to whom unfortunate things occur. We may not be Bonded, but..." He winced again, raising a hand to rub at his forehead. "I have never had a reaction this strong to anyone's magic before."

[daylen_amell_fadewalk]

The soothing touch gentled Daylen down a little further, but the pain in Alistair's voice was too much. "Shit. I'm sorry, let me..." He wormed off of the poor man again, hoping that if they weren't touching it would make it less painful. Then he rubbed a hand on the leg of his pant over his thigh, looking a little nervous, before summoning a tiny healing spell and brushing it against Alistair's temple.

"You're not an idiot, by the way. I mean, maybe for wanting to hitch your wagon to this old broken down mule, but... no I take it back. Total idiot." His attempt at an amused smile was tremulous at best.