RP: Anders (serhealsalot_fadewalk)

[modernhawke]

Logan let himself be pulled into the room after a cursory glance seemed to confirm it was unoccupied. It seemed, to his eye, to be decorated in a Marcher style, not overly lavish but not really plain either. The bed, a sturdy looking construction of dark wood hung with crimson and gold trappings, was at least a queen if not a king, and jutted out kitty-corner into the center of the room. A window looked out over the Skyhold grounds, and there was a small seating area with a low couch and a chair just in and to the right of the door. A pair of wardrobes took up one wall. Everything was a little too done up in shades of red for Logan's tastes, but it wasn't horrendous.

"This is nice," he told Anders, eying the map of the Free Marches which hung over the couch. There was a vaguely citrus-y scent hiding under an unused, dusty smell.

Comments

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders let go of Logan's hand after they were inside, turning to close and latch the door behind them. He wasn't feeling great, after the nightmares and the sleepwalking, the uncontrolled magical outburst, being confronted with an older version of himself that was some kind of revolution igniting martyr guy, and a Hawke that had been unhinged by trauma, but still seemed to care about bloody everything.

He was quiet, hmming in agreement with Logan as he pulled the journal and vest out of the sweatshirt pocket and tossed them on the small table in the sitting area. Then he shucked the sweatshirt itself, and the cardigan underneath it. He was trembling, just a touch, and he wasn't sure what he needed, but he was pretty sure it involved burying himself in Logan for the next several years.

He toed off his shoes and then walked over to Logan and wrapped himself around the bigger man, a huge, clinging hug, with his face buried in his shoulder.

[modernhawke]

Logan was turning to him with a question on his lips when Anders wrapped himself around him. His arms wrapped themselves around Anders in turn automatically, and he held him close, possibly too close really, enough to maybe making breathing difficult before too long.

"I've got you, darlin'," he murmured, turning to kiss the side of Anders' head and breathe in the smell of his hair.

Now that they had some sense of this place they'd been brought to, even if very little real answers as to how or why, and more especially now that they were alone again, Logan recalled his fear from earlier all over again. He kissed the curve of Anders' ear and said, voice soft, "I was scared for you, love."

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders would probably faint before he complained about the lack of air at this moment, his need to be close a flavor on the back of his tongue. He nodded into Logan's shoulder and whispered, "Me too."

The eyes in the dark of his dream, not knowing where he was when he woke, the fear that he could have hurt Logan while caught in a nightmare, all of that was more than enough to make him clingy. "If you want to sleep separate, I don't blame you." He said it, even while he was still clutching Logan tightly around the middle, like he was never going to let go.

"I mean, it could have gone really badly. I walked into a tree and set it on fire while I was still sleeping. I... I could hurt you." Before the worst he could conceive of doing was trying to punch someone who woke him up, and he didn't think Logan had much to fear from him on that front. But fire with his brain? Not good.

[modernhawke]

"What?" Logan made an aggrieved, wounded noise in the center of his throat at the very idea and pressed Anders closer. "Don't - don't be ridiculous. I should have woke up when you left, and then I could have woken you, and you would have been safe." He shook his head, his cheek brushing against Anders' hair. "I can sleep light when I plan it; it's an old habit. It'll be okay. You won't hurt me. You didn't set anything on fire until I wasn't there."

Logan shook his head a few more times, thinking of Anders alone in a room without his meds, facing nightmares and night terrors and now demons, with no one to stop him from wandering anywhere in the castle while he was asleep. No. No, definitely not. Leaving aside the fact that Logan was pretty sure he was incapable of being in Anders' vicinity and not wrapping himself up in him and staying there, he was most certainly not letting Anders face any of that alone.

"Absolutely not. I'm not leaving you alone here." He cleared his throat against its sudden rasp.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders stiffened for just a moment when Logan insisted he could disrupt his own sleep to keep an eye on him, like he was going to argue, but Logan's certainty just mowed that under. He let out a soft, shuddering sigh, feeling nothing but relief.

"Okay." He turned his head to kiss Logan's temple. "Okay, love. I just didn't want to assume you'd be okay with it. You're not responsible for my crazy. Maybe we can... put something in front of the door that'll rattle if I move it? Just to be sure?" He cleared his throat. "One of my foster moms used to tie my ankle to the bedframe." He shook his head. "Didn't like that."

[modernhawke]

Logan relaxed when Anders agreed, moving to rub his back with one of his big hands. "Yes, something rattly. That's a good idea. We can do that."

"Responsible, no, but I think we talked about taking care of each other, love, and I want to do that, and this is part of it. You don't have to face any of this alone." He brought one hand up to smooth back Anders' hair and cup his cheek. "I love you." He swallowed, smiled with one side of his mouth. "In case you, you know, forgot while you were busy running around setting fire to things."

At the mention of his foster mom, however, Logan scowled and gripped him tighter. "Well, we won't be doing that," he said, sounding appalled and a little angry and overprotective. A muscle twitched in his jaw.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders flushed slightly at Logan's declarations. "Well, I was gone all of an hour. You never know..." He nuzzled into Logan's cheek and then shrugged a little.

"It wasn't like she tied me down. Just a long string that would tug. But it wasn't... a great way to wake up." It had been frankly terrifying, an element added to already bad dreams, of not being able to escape, of some horrible monster dragging him back or down. He usually woke up screaming at that house, which he wasn't sure was better than in the back yard trying to climb the fence.

"Are you ready to get back in bed? Or do you want to go see about finding fresh clothes and having a bath first?" He kissed the corner of Logan's mouth and then drew back, smiling faintly. He was tired. He looked tired probably. But the idea of being wet and naked and warm wasn't unappealing at all.

[modernhawke]

Logan huffed indignantly. "No, I imagine not." What kind of person tied a child to a bed anyways? It was just cruel.

He shook his head and pressed after Anders to kiss him back, lightly. He squeezed his hand against his back. "Bath sounds good. We were kind of sweaty and sticky last night." He smirked. "Being clean would be nice. What do you think?"

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders nodded. "I'd like to get the pond off me as well, before you kiss any more of my parts." His eyes twinkled a little, his smile turning flirty and sly.

"Do you remember the way, or should I grab the map?" He nodded toward the journal on the table that they still hadn't looked through.

[modernhawke]

Logan laughed at him, leaning forward to kiss his nose. "Mm. No more pond. All right." He glanced at the journal, shrugged, and then rattled off the sequence of hallways and stairs that led to the baths with a crooked smile. "Yeah, I remember."

"Should we dig out some fresh clothes before we go?" He eyed the wardrobes hopefully, but seemed loathe to move that way or let go of Anders.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders grinned, shaking his head at Logan. "I always thought you wrote all those directions in game down. You just rememeber that sort of thing, do you?" He drew away enough to tug Logan toward the wardrobes.

"And yes, clean clothes sounds better than walking back in dirty things. Or wet ones if we wash them down there, I guess?" He reached to open the wardrobe, wondering what the odds were there'd be anything tall enough for either of them, or broad enough for Logan in there.

[modernhawke]

Logan shrugged modestly. "I might not be book smart, really, but practical things like that are easy. And useful. I didn't really have a phone or much reliable access to a computer for a while there, so I needed to be able to get myself places on my own."

He let Anders tug him towards the wardrobe and wrinkled his nose when the first one seemed mostly full of dresses and a few shirt-pants combos obviously designed for someone with rather more curves than either of them possessed. "Maybe the other one?" He laced his fingers with Anders' and moved to that one, opening it to find a rather wide assortment of men's styles. He rummaged through the tunics and shirts with one hand, getting distracted from looking for something that might actually fit across his shoulders by some of the more elaborate belts and buckles on a few.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders gave Logan a look when he implied he wasn't smart, or book smart, or educated, or whatever the hell that nonsense was about. Anders had a good memory and plenty of books and he had no idea how they were supposed to get to the bathhouse other than down. He was too busy reminding himself of what Logan's phone number was.

He helped dig through the second wardrobe, smirking and shaking his head. "What is it with these people and straps and buckles. Why do you need... seven belts on one tunic?" He pulled the offending item out and held it in front of himself. It was too short in the sleeves, too narrow in the shoulders, so he put it back, rolling his eyes.

[modernhawke]

Logan quirked an eyebrow at Anders' look, slightly confused. It was simple fact that he wasn't book smart; too many years moving around before they finally moved to Lothering meant he had felt constantly behind in school, and eventually he'd just given up caring. It didn't mean that he wasn't smart or that he didn't know things, because he did, and he read a lot about the stuff he found interesting, but he wasn't traditionally educated in any sense of the word.

He eyed the garment in Anders' hands and snorted. "So they can frustrate their lovers, clearly. How do you even get inside that thing? Let alone take it off." Turning back to the closet, he finally found a thigh length collared shirt, deep blue, that looked like it might fit. He held it up and stretched it to see how well it would fit across his chest.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

The shirt was a good color with Logan's dark skin, his bright eyes. Anders smiled and nodded at it, before rummaging more. The burnt orange got a hard pass, despite the fact it would probably fit fine, but he would go blind from looking at his own arms. He finally settled on something in a russet, zigzaggy sort of pattern, threaded with a little green and gold in the embroider. It was a tunic with toggles down the front that would probably be a touch loose, but the arms were long enough and it looked kind of dashing. And there were dark green... leggings? They would be cut very snug even on him... to go with it.

"I think I can live with this," he announced with a slight smirk.

[modernhawke]

Logan had found some black pants that looked like they would fit his thighs but might be a bit loose about the waist, since his was relatively small in comparison to the width of his shoulders and the rest of his size. Still, they would do. He debated on what appeared to be a matching short surcoat, black with complicated blue and silver embroidery depicting what he thought might be snakes or dragons. Or maybe they were just really interwoven whorls of color, he really had no clue. He put the surcoat back. He could always grab it later if he wanted it.

He took one look at the leggings, looked down at Anders' legs, and nodded vigorously. "Yes. Living. Living can be done with that. Yes." The tunic was rather sharp all on its own, but put Anders' long long legs in those leggings and Logan was pretty sure he wasn't going to be able to keep his hands off him.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

Anders smirk widened into a knowing grin at Logan's emphatic agreement. "Alright then." He did additional rummaging in the drawers under the wardrobe and found some loose weird linen smallclothes, both a chemise type undershirt and bottoms. "These are ridiculous." But he added them to his pile. The tunic was plainly made to wear over something, and he would be desperate for clean dry shorts before too long, especially with how tightly he was going to be laced into those leggings.

He handed a set to Logan, with a quirked eyebrow. "This is really weird. Whatever set this place up, it's like they wanted whoever showed up to have clothes? I mean, the journals for everyone is strange enough, but now just closets full of clothes in multiple sizes like a costume shop?"

[modernhawke]

Logan took the underclothes with a quizzical sort of look and stuck them on top of the shirt and trousers he'd draped over his arm. He shrugged at Anders, looking a little baffled.

"I mean...maybe that's standard castle-y welcome procedure? Have a bunch of extra clothes in the closets for the guests? Marian said this was the guest wing." He hummed. "I would say maybe some of these were occupied before the castle was brought here too, and these are the guests' clothes, but then why the different sizes? And the well-made up, unoccupied look. Beats me."

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

"Well, there aren't any answers here." Anders slipped his feet back into his shoes and gathered the clothes back up in his arms, and then moved to follow Logan.

"Alright then, fearless leader, lead me to the bubble baths of... um... bliss?" His eyes crinkled in the corners as he smiled, wrinkling his nose just a little at the dumb joke.

[modernhawke]

Logan chuckled, holding out his hand for Anders to take and shifting the clothes over his other arm slightly so they were less likely to be dropped.

"Right away, love," he said, with a tiny grin, trying not to stare too long at the warm gold of Anders' eyes. He tugged Anders in the proper direction, quiet for a moment, and then he looked over and said, "Your eyes crinkle when you smile, you know? It's really adorable."

His ears reddened.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

There was no hesitation as Anders slipped his hand into Logan's, grin going on long enough to become foolish. Feeling anyway. He followed the tug, lengthening his stride enough to bump his shoulder into Logan's, and then blushed a bright pink at the compliment. "Adorable?" He bit his lower lip, still smiling like an idiot. "I thought we established you're the adorable one."

The hallways of the castle were eerie and silent but it made the whole thing feel like a strange, private sanctuary for just him and Logan. It had been a relief when the other Anders and Hawke had left them alone, and he could enjoy the rush of pleasure each time Logan smiled at him without being embarrassed. Well too embarrassed.

He was still grinning like an fool.

[modernhawke]

Logan shook his head, biting the inside of his lip as he grinned. "Nah," he said. "Have you looked in a mirror lately?"

He was just digging himself a giant Hawke-sized grave of embarrassment, could feel heat high in his cheeks and pooling down his back, but he wasn't about to stop, because Anders was adorable, and Logan was newly determined to make him smile as much as possible. He brushed against him as they walked, and counted the passageways they moved through silently until he'd found the one Marian had described.

"I think this is it," he said finally, leading Anders down one last hall.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

When they entered that last passage there were steps, delicately carved, leading down into the stone foundations of the castle. The shadows were thick though, and Anders paused, balking at the dark.

"Let me..." He released Logan's hand and raised his own palm, focusing intensely for a moment. Not fire. He didn't want fire. He wanted one of those little heatless spirit lights that seemed to be in globes all over the game. He flushed as nothing happened, and he gave Logan an embarrassed glance and closed his eyes, frowning further.

What had Anders said? If he stopped fighting with it the magic would uncoil. He was so worried about doing it wrong now that it was no longer coming with the instinctive rush that it had at first. He could do this though. He could.

He really didn't want to go down into the dark. He reached again for his magic and this time there was a little pop followed by a tinkling chime and when he opened his eyes a pair of small wisps bloomed above his hand, shifting spheres of blue and gold. "Ah!" his frown broke into a pleased grin that quieted when he shot Logan a shy, proud smile.

[modernhawke]

Logan pressed in close to Anders when he frowned and let go of his hand, letting their shoulders brush. Not for himself - though perhaps a little, because touching. He didn't mind the dark at all, but it did seem to bother Anders, so a little closeness couldn't hurt. He watched Anders closely as he concentrated, giving him a small encouraging smile when he looked embarrassed.

When the wisps danced above Anders' palm, Logan reached out and stopped just shy of touching one. He smiled warmly. "They're so pretty. How do you-" He cocked his head and held out his own hand. It wasn't a spell he remembered doing in the game, but it couldn't be that different from the kinds of things he'd done with light and heat already, could it? Or, well, minus the heat. He wrinkled up his nose and focused, reaching for the magic in his core, feeling around its edges, and tried to pull some up from his middle towards his arm and his palm and then will the rush of power into something bright and harmless. At first, nothing, and then there was another wisp in the air, this one silver with hints of red mixed in, and the faint scent of...those little red Hot Tamales candies?

Well, that was weird.

[serhealsalot_fadewalk]

The wisps that Anders conjured danced of their own accord, swirling around the one that Logan had made. He huffed a laugh and then sniffed more deeply, looking puzzled. "Did you... make a cinnamon scented candle into a wisp, Logan?" He looked both kind of appalled and impressed even while he started laughing. "What you couldn't quite manage Mountain Lodge? Ooh, maybe I can do Man Town!"

He snorted and laughed louder, leaning into Logan as if he was going to fall over, and wrapped his arm through his, hugging it and hiding his face against his shoulder. "You're the best thing. Ever. In the entire history of all the universes."